Jerusha's thought's and stuff

Random update

2007-03-27T11:55:00.000-07:00

yeah so as some may know i got Gmail as well as my telus and some know about my hotmail but the thing is i do still use my telus so still sending everything through my JerushaEsmi@telus.net email plz so how are you all doing i am not doing to good but yeah if anyone has time to go for coffee you know how to get me some have me on msn some have me on there blog and some have me on facebook and some have me and all of these things but the point is i need to talk to some one and get adives from some one on what to do about my peroblums witch most know about from my past blogs and so on and know i am haveing trubels with other things but i will figer it out so yeah let me know what you been up to Jerusha

Random update

2007-03-17T00:30:00.000-07:00

Hey I just thought I wouled randomly update my blog let you know all how I am will as far as that goes awful tired and stupid also was sick on wed the 14th of 2007 do to not geting alot of sleep and will it is becuase I am worried to much about a frined that I really care about and so on and lately he has or what I seem that he has been doing is avoieding me for some reson don't know what but I wish I know why? do any of you think I shouled keep beside him? If so why do you think I shoued? what do I say to him when he ask me I am still sticking beside him after all he has done to me? and all so I have not been eating as much as I use t0 but that is partly becuase of grad and my dress is thin so I got to have a thin tummy and so on and yeah what you all doing for spering brack? How are you all doing with school and work and if your a mum how are the kids? ummm I do not know what else to say then that but it is late and I got to get up and all becuase I am going to a move in victoria for 9:00am on sat the 17th of 2007 so hope you all have a good spering brack looking forwed to hearing from all you sorry for the lil brack between the last blog you know how it is right? so yeah have fun!!!!!!! looking forwed to monday I may be going to vancover for the day for shoping

hurting and feeling like there is no way to help my friends

2007-02-20T20:45:00.000-08:00

hey there all sorry for the long time paried on no bloging i have not been doing well i am trying to help two friends with things but i am not doing very good and i am hurting and all and don't know what i can do to help my friends becuase i know one for sure do not let me help and seeing them hurt makes me hurt and i wouled do anything for this frined to help them and i mean anything and will the other friend they at lest let me try and help and do what i can and they don't do anything to me when i try and help and i am just really feeling worthless and crapy and not knowing what to do for my two frineds if you got any ideas plz tell me i geuss that all i got to say for now bye all

what is life

2007-01-20T19:58:00.000-08:00

what the bloody hell is life why shouled i bother liveing why is life a big thing every one says i will fine the right guy but i dont bloody well beleave that and will i cant evern think right now days i dont think i am going to make it to grad with how i am doing and all and will i have some good freinds trying to help me get through it but something are not working out and i dont know i am starting to wunder away from God and all and i just dont know what to do and i have been feeling deperssed and all so that couled be part of my reson but as i said i am giveing in to saten and all and i dont think i will ever fine the right guy for me i thought i had but i did not so on and so forth the point is i am geting to the point were i am fineding life point less what are all your thoughts and dont be easy no matter how much the truth may hurt me i will take it and will i must be going now ttyl bloggers bye bye Jerusha

LOVE

2007-01-14T21:18:00.000-08:00

I think I may know what love is becuase I can kind of see it arouned some Frineds will one is more the a friend and the other is my best friend even thought I dont know if she feels the same way the guy dose but I am kind of haveing to get use to seeing them so close togther and stuff and will I am kind of haveing a hard time geting use to seeing them so close and alway togther and I feel like the only thing I can do is get pissed off at the person and will I am not sure if I want to died alon or with a guy becuase the peroblum is i dont ever think I will know what true love is in tell perobly after I died and I am sick of trying to figer out with love is so if you can HELP ME plz do help and yeah if you have ever been in love tell me what it is like becuase i dont ever think i will ever truly feel love will that about it so yeah tell the next updat on the thoughts of Jerusha

evil Jerusha that dont want to be chirsten that like caseing her self pain is back

2007-01-02T21:55:00.000-08:00

hey all sorry but my butten has been pushed and will as you can see by my heading the evil side or shouled i say twin is back and she is not looking or feeling good or anything and right now i feel like going back on a peromis i made with some people that i am not nameing but most no who and will and will things are not looking pratty for me i want to leave youth ice aleat my self and not be arouned other christen and i mean that all that i want is to stay home and case my self pain and more pain and so yeah that is it i am not want to do very much to get the old happy angel jerusha back that was her she is locked up far far away were no one can get her Evil Twin Jerusha

what are your Christmas traditions

2006-12-18T17:21:00.000-08:00

so yea this is my new post and i was wundering what you all do at this time of year so post them traditions and as for mine open stockings then wait tell the qween do her spech then open under the tree gifts that mine

About Sarah brower

2006-11-06T16:40:00.000-08:00

This is a lovely picture from my 17th birthday party she has helped me so much and hearing this about her makes me really sad becuase sarah is the funist ever and she is a wunderful girl and i think when i first came to the youth group she was the first to talk to me she has alway been beside me seens i frist came to spy and i am going to do as much as i can for her beacuse she is such a cool and funny girl and she can always make someone smile i mean i saw her saterday morning and all and i know a few other youth who saw her then so yeah this is really hard for me and i do not know what to do and all so i just really need someone to talk to i can not stop worrying about sarah and how much she really ment to me till now and i just thank the Lord for keeping her safe and for leting her live and as soon as i hear that she can have visters i am bring her flowers and a card and even a teddy bear if i can and also she has always said hi to me on the street when she has seen me and that is what she did on saterday when i saw her

new up date 4

2006-10-26T22:48:00.000-07:00

hey all my week has been crapy so I am just needing prayer with what happened to ted and everything and not even seeing ted that much I am just really cofused and will ted is really the first person who has really cared about me and all and i couled just do something for him he does so much for me it is not even funny and i mean he is so good like i am just so hurt with what happened on monday at my school and all some of you know some dont and will you will fine out sooner or later and will i couled just use some good old prayer plz budys and I just need to have a sholder to cry on right now with how busy me and ted are with are things we do in are lives it is not east seeing each other and talking to each other and that goes for all of you guys you have really stuck by my side through the hard times and the easy times no matter how mad i get at you guys and no matter how much i till you guys i dont need the help you still help and i love it when you guys do so just keep praying for me and keep talking to me and seeing how i am and stuff so if you want to ask me anything about me and my frindship with ted or just want to ask how my week is or ask if i want to go for a walk and hang out or what ever then do just be your self ted has showen me that if i am my self i will be liked for who i am wither it is boyfriend and girlfriend relashenship or a really strong friendship just help each other anuther words i have seen something i never know befor wioll i got to go see you all bye Jerusha

up date 3

2006-10-22T19:33:00.000-07:00

hey you all what up in life what you think life means and will praty much ted is keeping me calm and keeping me from going insane so yeah what you all up to how is school we need to go for coffee ppl the only peroblum is i got no money becuase i am going to qwones in summer and that is alot of money so if any one wants to pay sure lets go for coffee From Jerusha

new up date 2

2006-10-10T16:45:00.000-07:00

hey gang i am very very very very very happy and you will all fined out why later or you will see why on friday at youth Jerusha

new up date 1

2006-09-26T22:47:00.002-07:00

hey guys i am back to hateing life not want to be a christen wanting to hurt my self and all and i am going to leave youth and spycell and school youth group and eating lunch with the you goodbye all Jerusha:'(

new up date

2006-09-09T20:44:00.000-07:00

sorry blog dogs that i have not updated is a while i have been haveing a hard time with school starting up and all and i wouled just like to say i am tired latly so i will be acting like the old me a littal bet but not really like befor will i got to go soon and shower but yeah till me what up with you blog dogs and how school is doing for work or what ever it is and if you guys couled just pray that i will get some sleep and have a helthy graed12 year and get some sleep i will be much beeter for all thanks to all my friends for allways being here for me and i got some ppl i want to go to dinner with on monday at pasta night see ya all got to get a bit to eat and then shower Jerusha

life as it is right now

2006-07-15T23:04:00.000-07:00

Will to till you my blog doges I am feeling much better and wouled like to thank you all for puting up with my crap and all that and maybe we shouled go fo coffee gang and cant wait to have you back form camp so i will not be a loner any morw I miss you all and will that is it for now but I really went to know what you all think of me in my different moods feel free dto say what you need to From Jerusha P.S. next up date will I do not know when it will be

Up date 2

2006-06-12T17:17:00.000-07:00

Hey all this friday is the last one you will see me at so i will say bye to you all i can not staned it anymore so i say good bye and have fun and forget me at youth thanks Jerusha

History maker and staging to be a christen

2006-05-16T19:04:00.000-07:00

hey all new up date i am trying to still figer out who i am and i zm staying in there but i do not know how much longer i can so yeah i am so upset but i can't wait for history maker but i am scered at the same time becuase it is my first time and i do not know what is going to happen there or anything i am so scered and will the struggal is so hard and i do not know how much longer i can hang in here for so if any and any one that is christen can plz pray for me it will help me and i will be able to get storonger and storonger to fight saten my self but tell then i need all the soerport and prayer i can have and some times i will not listen but really i a, listening and i do not ever look like i am listening but i am all the time i am very sencetuv and all that and sorry for you who cant read this i am a very bad speller and all so yeah i am looking fored to speneding my week with my friends from youth my brothers and sisters in christ and will i hear from every one that history maker is the best but that do not help me with what i am going through and this being my first time and all i am a 17 year old going some were with ppl i know but some were i have never been my self and will it is really really scery and all and will sarah brower in no longer with us at youth for i do not know how long but i will misss her she was one of my very very very good friends and all i cant help but cry and all at time during the time of my fath walk and but i do not know how to help my self i have asked for help and all that but there has been nuthn from the Lord nuthing at all and i have prayed for help and steragth but nuthing has happened at all the Lord just do not answer me at all and will that just makes me up set maybe it is true what my youth pastor and his wife say and all the rest of the youth but it do not help the Lord just do not like me and that is why he never answers me in prayer or when ever and i also feel like not going to youth and pre-worship prayer and nutral zone and power zone and refuge bus and all that and spy cell and sceruth grope and all that and will that is about it for me for now so i will go bye all From Jerusha

Up date

2006-04-24T23:01:00.000-07:00

will it is time for a up date of how I am doing will with my walk with God will that is geting better now when I am silent I listen out for what the Lord has to say something and I am praying to him for help and for strangth and all that and will to tell you the truth I do not always get along with every one I meet so yeah I know I got and I went to and all but it is so hard to when you are unsure of who you are but I am going to find out slowy who I am and what the Lord wants to do with me and were he wants me to go so if he wants me to be a messons prson I will ber whatever he wants me to do I will do no matter what even if it is hard and it is hard right now with how I am doing in my walk with God I will still ask him for help and that is about it for me for now so I am going to go so TTYL so see ya and have fun and I love God for blessing me with so meny friends and a good familey. From Jerusha. P.S. hope you have fun all and plz keep praying for me I will be glad if you do Thanks.

Friends that love me

2006-04-12T22:31:00.000-07:00

I have so meny friends that love i cant belave it and i do not like hurting them and i know they went to help but i do not know what to say or do so i think i just realy need praying for and i need to pray alot to and u also got to help all my friends to like they do for me and i just got to thanks cronk and werner and josh and jen and liz and shannon and alyssa and jessica and rick and james and andrew and all of them and ashaly and Aaron and reuben and and ben and sarah brower and the other sarah and Mrs.Hicks and all of them who ever i left out sorry but i couled not rember every one so you I just love you so much and i am realy going through a hard time Jerusha P.S. thanks to all my friends who are here for me

history maker

2006-04-11T21:44:00.000-07:00

history maker it is my first time going but from what i have seen and heard it is fun and good so i cant wait to go with all my firends from youth group Jerusha