History maker and staging to be a christen

hey all new up date i am trying to still figer out who i am and i zm staying in there but i do not know how much longer i can so yeah i am so upset but i can't wait for history maker but i am scered at the same time becuase it is my first time and i do not know what is going to happen there or anything i am so scered and will the struggal is so hard and i do not know how much longer i can hang in here for so if any and any one that is christen can plz pray for me it will help me and i will be able to get storonger and storonger to fight saten my self but tell then i need all the soerport and prayer i can have and some times i will not listen but really i a, listening and i do not ever look like i am listening but i am all the time i am very sencetuv and all that and sorry for you who cant read this i am a very bad speller and all so yeah i am looking fored to speneding my week with my friends from youth my brothers and sisters in christ and will i hear from every one that history maker is the best but that do not help me with what i am going through and this being my first time and all i am a 17 year old going some were with ppl i know but some were i have never been my self and will it is really really scery and all and will sarah brower in no longer with us at youth for i do not know how long but i will misss her she was one of my very very very good friends and all i cant help but cry and all at time during the time of my fath walk and but i do not know how to help my self i have asked for help and all that but there has been nuthn from the Lord nuthing at all and i have prayed for help and steragth but nuthing has happened at all the Lord just do not answer me at all and will that just makes me up set maybe it is true what my youth pastor and his wife say and all the rest of the youth but it do not help the Lord just do not like me and that is why he never answers me in prayer or when ever and i also feel like not going to youth and pre-worship prayer and nutral zone and power zone and refuge bus and all that and spy cell and sceruth grope and all that and will that is about it for me for now so i will go bye all From Jerusha